FACING YOUR EGO

“Ego intervention” will become a common phrase in our western society, we predict.  Since we began addressing what the ego is and how to identify it, the inevitable has happened with our readers: each person, like us, has had the arduous experience of facing our ego-monsters.

A newly appointed President of a start-up company transformed from a selfless servant to the company vision into a self-serving, above-it-all, defensive personality.  This happened almost overnight and shocked the other co-founders of the company (which included one of the authors).  In the confrontation that ensued, there was an outpouring of compassion to help this man face his ego.  The intervention lasted two solid days. We saw a normally mild-mannered man transform to an angry, aggressive, defensive, and then withdrawn personality.  At no time in the first day was his true self anywhere to be found.  It was confusing to see blindness where there had been sharp clarity.  It was agonizing to see how lost, removed and distraught he was as no one was willing to let him continue in ego, it would mean the end of the start-up!  At the end of two days, he left the company, frantically searching for the reasons why he was so misunderstood and hurt.  He was removed as President and is going to a retreat to seek his answers.

A conversation struck up with a high tech company CEO on a long flight turned into an authentic sharing of the common experiences of fighting each other’s personal ego monsters.  The discussion turned even deeper as the content of our online Unity Quest dialogues was shared with this individual.  Soon, he shared how distraught he was over situations brewing in his own life.  This executive had one of those “ah-ha” moments, realizing that engaging his executives in a UQ dialogue could be immensely helpful to them, as it had been for him on this long flight.   A workshop is being scheduled as a part of the executive team’s leadership development to aid them in their own Unity Quest.

Our true, higher self is very creative at taking advantage of our awakening to ego.  Dreams deliver unconscious messages, symbols and stories meant to illuminate where we need to look for the ego.  Life events that seem “synchronistic” bring us face to face with our ego often mirrored in others.  In facing our egos, we had to discover the truth: “as within, so without” (spoken by Hermes Trismegistus over 3,000 years ago). Every person who we react strongly to is a teacher who mirrors an aspect of our ego that is up for review.  The more painful the event or situation, the more powerful the potential lesson about our ego.  Dreams and life events are the warnings, the teaching, to be understood… or you will keep experiencing the same pain over and over.

• Can you think of a time when your dreams symbolically identified aspects of your ego?
• Can you remember a pattern of recurring events that helped you become more aware of your ego?

Like the executives who are either checking into a retreat or pulling themselves and their team out of the day to day grind, facing your ego requires immersion that can only happen out of your normal environment.  There are too many defenses, negative reinforcements and ego-supporting cues in your everyday world to honestly face your ego. You see, your ego eclipses your true self. It guards and obscures your reality. Your ego defends its existence with every tool at its disposal.  Going past this formidable ego requires compassionate, frank, truthful reflection facilitated by others who have no agenda other than to support conscious awakening.

Your ego is a monster.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking any less.  Surrendering your ego allows your true self to begin manifesting itself in this world.  It is a constant cycle of learning.  We have continually found that progress leads to tests of our ability to sustain awareness of our egos.  Even today, Anik and Lane help each other spot where our ego diverts, distracts or deters progress.  We remind each other to spend time in self-reflection.  Our path is to transcend ego is leading to our deeper purpose: to fully manifest our true higher self in this world.  We’ll talk more about that in a future article.

Be brave!  Invite a trusted friend or ego-challenger into your life.  Facing your ego is one of the most intense, difficult and consuming experiences of life but it is also the most rewarding first step that ultimately leads to a more balanced life, peace and happiness.